Our journey from Dallas to Oklahoma City showed us not everything in the US is big. We drove thru The Arbuckle 'Mountains'. They are crap. Should be called 'The Arbuckle Untidy Hills'
On arrival Dada was asked if he’d like to say few words the following night at The City of Guthrie City Council. He did and it was shown live on local TV! Dada looks fat on TV. He talked about the differences between the US and UK; a subject inspired by the mind of the great Dr. Jim. In the UK for example we have political campaign leaflets. In the US they have shocking TV slur ads (lets face it; idiots will belive anything - this is after all the bible belt and home to the evangelists "Send me $1,000 now for your salvation". Muppets). In the UK our Indians make curry; in the US Indians make money (from casinos). In the UK we have wind, in the US; ceiling fans. In the UK our Irish are pasty pale and in the US they are Hasselhoff brown. In the UK we have roundabouts - in the US they have stop signs which slow everyone down but then ironically they have drive thru banks. In the UK they hate George Bush; in the US they ... er ... hang on – that’s the same.
Back near Oklahoma City, Dada played a fabulous golf course called Gaillardia, built by a Texan Gaylord. I won’t mention Dr Jim’s Ryder Cup style loss, because I was upset that Dada shot a birdie on the par 5 10th (and he is WELL RUBBISH at golf). Here's Dr. Jim with Mercy Hospital (where he should have been at work) in the background
The golf course at Gaillardia was very nice. We had lunch there but my menu ordering skills were about as good as Dr. Jim's golf playing skills
However I did fall in love. Dada says I was a lucky boy and she was the most beautiful minger he had ever seen. I wore the trousers too - see how she serves me. I don't remember her name, but Dada says you don't need to for most 'girlfriends'
College football is as big as grown up football in the US, so we checked out Oklahoma University. Look at the half pint:
No I don't mean Dada - I mean the beer can - Dada's can is clasped by a 'snap on coozie' which Mama will make millions by importing to the UK - it keeps his tiny hands warm. The game of 'American' football is rubbish. There were so many handballs that the game stopped every 6 seconds. A one hour game lasted 17 hours. Crazy. The Sooners won, OU apparently rock. The Sooners have nothing to do with The Spooners, they are Dada's friends who support West Brom and therefore have never won anything. Here's Kyle with his wife; E.T.
Dr. Jim & Flash's house was very cool. To be honest I was a bit scared of the huge bath they had in the garden, but once I was brave enough it was great fun
And here I am holding a big cock
On a more serious note, Mama and Dada were sad to visit the memorial for the people killed in the bombings. Each person has a chair dedicated to them. We met Susan who was several blocks away at the time, and all the windows in her building smashed
Also in Oklahoma: Penis shaped heirloom gourds (don’t ask), “Do you have barbecues in England” (Bobbie French), “Do you have Mexicans in England?” (Dr. Jim), “Do you have earthquakes in England?” (Dr. Jim) , "Do you have cocker spaniels in England?" (Bev)
big UP: All the fine people of The City Of Guthrie 100 years old in 2007 and the longest historical street in the US, The Oklahoma Gaylords, The Scottish Rights Temple Masons, Jimbo & Flash + woofs Baby & Callie, Ed & Bobbie French and their woofs, Mr Mayor John Gumerson and Bev with the fabulous accent, Joanne & Albert on the lake, John 'Nicholas Cage' Dixson for almost killing me on a jog 'around' Heffner Lake, Bert, Susan and loads of others ...
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